Since you can not even excuse himself, but actually the other excuse / pardon requests, which would actually "Please excuse me ..." hot, or "I'm sorry, but we're all in use now verschluderten form ne - apology to the Divine Feminine (of a warrior in conversion) I apologize for my inability to to distinguish benign from heartless warrior, a reflection of my own confusion in the processing of the battles of the past. If I my heart too far opened, I was too vulnerable to attack. I was conditioned to believe that I focused relentlessly, and be prepared for all eventualities must strive to protect myself and others from attack. But I went too far, and shut myself too hard and burned the bridge between our hearts. I see it now, and I'm sorry.
I apologize for my constant absence, a reflection of my own inner absence, for my inability to go from a heart of contact, which was firmly blocked by unresolved emotions, to redeem I had not the means. Still missing me many tools for this, but I am open to her Appearance. 
I apologize for my inability to distinguish relations of war. As a warrior in enemy territory at night, I snuck in and out of your life, selfish plundering and taking what I needed, I crawled back with the loot to the other side of the abyss. I gave back a little, afraid to be vulnerable to attack. I had war in my head and could not see the flow of love, waiting on the other side of the battlefield. Now I can see that love is the antidote for armored warriors, but I could not even drink in my state-driven. I apologize that I do not could see my eyes blinded by anger and not molded frozen tears. If it is any consolation, and I think that it is not: I could not see yourself. I saw only what was my hyper-vigilance, my warrior focus. My mirror was the battlefield.
I apologize for my ungrounded materialism, my power-driven tyrannies, my obsession with the accumulation. Somehow I thought that accumulation would protect me and those close to me, but I failed to recognize that it simply perpetuates just crazy. I also apologize for my selfish abuse, pumped up a mirror of my own misguided egos to deal with work around a deeply competitive world. I could not between the healthy, self-conscious ego and the swaggering, unhealthy ego distinction. I went too far in the wrong direction.
I apologize for a sexuality that was objectifying and separated from the heart. I know you longed for real intimacy, is a fusion of our souls along the heart-genital highway. But there were too many defensive walls around my heart, and between our souls from resulting could not bridge. There were moments when your loving nature freed me from my body masks, but I did not know how to survive in this heart-fire. I'm sorry, because I know that the path after you longed for, the way to God.
I apologize for my terrible acts of violence, to distinguish a mirror of their own congealed anger, in my own inability true enemies of friends. There are no words that could undo what I did in these moments of madness. I know that I would hide my face in shame, but that will not make things better. I must take my own misdeeds to me again, and then find a way to believe in my ability to act from a loving place made. I call on the other male warriors to take over responsibility for the actions of our race, not in a way that is self-hating, but in a way that is self-honest and sincere sympathy. The warrior of the heart recognizes the error of his actions and has the courage to do all he can do to make it in time to make amends.
I apologize for my inability to enter into a conscious relationship. You were always there, with your beautiful heart in his hands, but I was arrested in my individualism and I was afraid of this unknown territory. I know the forest, the marketplace and the possibilities of the outside world, but my inner geography is foreign to me. You called me to a place to go to which I was not prepared, although I the surface of my bragging felt very well that you called me home.
I am grateful for your willingness to believe that there was in those rare moments of vulnerability, who I really am. You were right - the real me lives in my heart - but a few minutes now and again, the highest honor I could deal with. I saw you as dangerous, because in your presence I tasted transferred on a way of being. Still, helping your confidence in my goodness me through many a battle and put my faith in her life again when I needed it most. You were the light at the end of a tunnel, barbaric, and I am blessed. I am grateful that you held to me, through thick and thin, and I understand those days when you had to give up and let go of me. I now realize that there is a huge difference between being in love and relationship. Love is not enough. Without being aware of the common will, there can be only frustration. I was so often impossible, I clung to my unconscious, like a soldier on his gun. I recognize the courage it took for you to keep your heart open in the presence of my resistance. You had every right to seek an authentic relationship, because your soul lights up in her presence. Your beautiful heart had every right to be touched with the same openness and readiness. I am grateful for the time you gave me, a respite from that hiding place, which I mistakenly called my home.
I am thankful for grandmother, because no one saw my obvious affection. I am grateful for my mother, for choosing to call me back to life and to nourish my body until I could find my feet. I am grateful for Mother Earth, for it. they are my ascent ground and enlivened my soul. I am grateful for the divine mother, the true mother of us all. Now I feel her divine presence so close. Wild compassionate, she was always right here, breathed life into me and kept me safe. I sit on her Lap while she breathes me.
I look forward to the day when the only thing that ignites a relationship, the reputation of two souls to each other, two souls, hearts that beat in the same direction, a hint of longing, of a bridge, from a being to another. I want to do, not because it satisfies my ego, not because you are outwardly beautiful, but because your mere presence of my God-self draws from his hiding place. I want to touch you with my heart in my hands, I would like to see a chemistry between us that sex is not identified, but one from the essence quillende, molten lava of love, from the the heart to the genitals and into the great beyond flows. In this world, drunk with love relationship is always experienced as a spiritual practice, as a devout expression of our God-self.
I have always believed that it is not possible to maintain sensitivity in a tough global upright. But at this moment I feel vulnerable, but without the fragility. I still wear a suit of armor, but there is a shift in the direction of my intensity. I can stay a little longer in the heart room, when I was there once, I will tender in many places. After so many lifetimes with a gun in his hand a gentle warrior is at the core of my being born. He is confused, but he knows intuitively that this is the way home.
Please give me or my fellow soldiers not to. Forgive us our sins, or was at least open to the possibility that we change when the road widens to meet the needs of our shifting plans to meet. The day will come when our fighting spirit loses its sharp edge, and is in accordance with a benevolent act. Some of us are already there and many more will follow us. The road to transformation is dependent on a bridge between the sexes, a benevolent bridge that celebrates our differences with respect and kindness. This work must begin with the healing of the cracks along the gender continuum, with hard work, to heal the collective heart - until the day on a bridge over the ages, are holding each other hands, the hearts open and light, and the sacred masculine and divine Female embrace that lives in the hearts of us all. I'll meet you there.
May you fall down the love of the divine mother to feel your warm shore, lifting up the mercy of the madness of this world, nestled in the grateful arms of those you have nurtured. Those of us who have received your blessing, it may not always recognized. But your actions of love ended up in us, haben uns wachsen lassen und uns angefüllt mit dem Licht der Liebe. Danke.
© Jeff Brown, 2010 (www.soulshaping.com), Mit freundlicher Genehmigung des Verfassers. Übersetzung: David Rotter
Original-Artikel: APOLOGIES TO THE DIVINE FEMININE (from a warrior in transition)
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